Throughout my life, I’ve been exposed to several different instances where a relationship gave off major red flags. I’ve witnessed these red flags present in either one person in the relationship or both people. These red flags include:
• Physical violence
o This one may be obvious but let me clarify what I mean. When I say physical violence, I don’t mean only against a person. Suppose a significant other must resort to punching holes in walls or destroying things to release their anger. In that case, that’s generally not a good indication of how they can potentially treat a person if provoked enough.
• They’re possessive
o It’s okay for a partner to be a little jealous at times, but their behavior transcends jealousy when they constantly attempt to threaten or manipulate you when you want to have fun with friends or family. This situation is especially the case for partners who wish to control you and make your life solely revolve around them.
• Having a lack of patience/anger issues
o Patience is an essential virtue to have in a serious relationship. I don’t believe a relationship can survive without it. How do two people ever expect to fix an issue when one person or both people don’t have the emotional capacity to talk and listen to each other. When I witness a relationship where a partner gets angered easily and quickly loses control of their emotions, I get unsettled.
• Being emotionally unavailable
o Part of a serious relationship is also remaining committed to the other person and taking them seriously. If a partner never has time to listen to the other person or is never willing to listen to the other person’s side, they’ll never grow, learn, or mature in the relationship.
• Cruel/abusive to pets/animals
o While this doesn’t have anything to do with relationships themselves, I think how someone treats their pets says a lot about how they treat their partner. I believe how someone treats their pets reflects a lot about their emotional stability, mentality, and other aspects of their personality.
• If they’ve cheated in the past
o Cheating is generally considered the ultimate betrayal of trust and intimacy in a relationship. If a partner has a checkered past involving cheating on one or multiple partners, I would be hesitant to trust them. Although some reform themselves and are different people than who they were in the past, this may not be the case for everyone.
• The company they keep
o I believe another good indicator of someone’s personality or behaviors is the kind of company they surround themselves with. If they often befriend or surround themselves with people who do bad things (i.e., general crimes or addictive behaviors) or act in ways that make you uncomfortable, it’s a good sign that you shouldn’t date them.
• Having double standards
o It’s one thing for a partner to be controlling and tell you that you can’t hang out with your friends without their permission, but it’s another thing if they don’t follow their standards and go out with friends without telling you. It’s significantly worse if they call YOU the controlling or manipulative one for being annoyed at their hypocrisy.
• They never think they’re in the wrong
o Pride is a massive killer of relationships, especially during arguments. If a partner cannot see the wrong in any of their harmful actions and can never bring themselves to apologize, then the relationship is doomed to fail. This relates to that person not being willing to grow or mature by listening.
• They make you feel insecure/have low self-esteem
o A relationship should be about building each other up and maturing together. If all your partner does is tear you down and make you feel worse than before you entered the relationship, you must ditch that relationship for your mental health.
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